The *Official* Blog of the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair.

13 December 2010

Stock Up, Stock Stockings: A Staff Review

When we prepared to open the robot shop, almost three years ago now, my dear friend Rachel Lieberman came back from Boston with a present for me. It was a little Kikkerland Robot named Spinney, and it looked like this:

We searched high and low for the retailer, which sounds easy enough, but through a series of missteps, failed communications, distributors disappearing, and other waylayers of the best laid plans, it took us well over a year to track down these delightful little bots. I am pleased to tell you that we now offer a full line -- over twenty varieties of Kikkerland Robots:

These robots are cleverly designed, and, at $5-20 a pop, totally affordable. Better yet, they are incredibly durable. Spinney has been with me for almost three years, and in that time, attended no fewer than thirty niece sleepovers, at which he is a fought-after commodity. Although my nieces, who have, during these three years, ranged in age from three to eighteen (I have a lot of them -- eight, to be exact), have put him through any number of windings and tug-of-wars, he is still ticking along, and still everyone's most sought-after breakfast neighbor.

Stop on in to the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair and stock up! They come in a range of sizes, colors, and functions, fit perfectly in the standard stocking, and are sure to entertain people (in my experience) aged three to seventy-one.

Stock all your stockings at the robot shop! We've got wholly unique, wow-worthy items like robot candy, robot stickers, pocketbots, pens, robot tattoos, kitchen timers, pepper-grinders, clippers, magnets, and all manner of ingenious tools that will fit perfectly in any size of stocking, and cost you between fifty cents and ten bucks, all proceeds of which support the free student programs at 826michigan.

09 December 2010

Two Toupees? But Of Course!

And now, at long last, what you've been waiting -- no doubt -- all year for: A product review from Harry Hareton, lead director of Homophone Research and Alliterative Allegations, who rents a very small space from us here at the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair (namely, part of 826michigan's famed dungeon).

Egads! I tried to say no to this nonsense the first five times I was asked, but holy heck these people are persistent. (It doesn't help that I have to walk by a horde of robotiers on the way to my only office each day, where I hoard, among other things, tater tots.) Regardless! As a boldly bald man with a no-longer-bald bot, I do have a few fine things to say about LSRS&R's robot toupees.

First I'll say, I was never much into robots. But my aunt, an electrical engineer, designed a small one for me one summer to take care of an ant problem I was having, and I've since been hooked. Of course, she later billed me for the little guy, causing me to research how to build my own.

Which I have done, by way of the ButterBot, a chubby, bald-headed cyborg who has been a great source of company to me; the only problem with BB being that there was a hole on the top of his headpiece, and I couldn't find anything that would cover the whole of it. Enter those raving robotiers over at the robot retailer in town. Who introduced me and BB to:

Robot Toupee/Party Hat and the Robot Toupee/Party Hat Redux. Each one lends its own funny flavor to your bot's noddin' noggin at any social function.

I first affixed the original Robot Toupee/Party Hat to BB's head, and, while you could see, if you looked closely, a small seam along the edge, it would seem to have been made for his head. The original Robot Toupee/Party Hat is perfect for New Year's Eve parties, and any other festivity that encourages frolicking. Its frosty glow only emphasizes the dreamy sway of the fiber optics.

Now, the Robot Toupee/Party Hat Redux, on the other hand, is the sole toupee you'll need for dance parties, raves, and, may I recommend, Ann Arbor's Soul Club. It blinks in time to music, and will make even a weak week way wilder!

So there you have it! Highest recommendations from Harry Hareton on both counts. Stop by the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair today and pick one, or both, up. Nothing dresses up your bot better!

07 December 2010

Now On Sale at the LSRS&R: Robot Souls and Create-Your-Own Robot Souls!

Looking for the perfect way to let your bot know how much you care in a way that will really make an impact this holiday season? Why not buy him or her a Liberty Brand Robot Soul? Easy to install on most makes and models of robot, the Liberty Brand Robot Soul is the ultimate upgrade for just about any bot.

This year, we have more options for your bot's incorporeal essence than ever before! It all depends on your own spiritual and philosophical preferences. We have, in stock:
  • "My Funny Valentine" for a light-hearted bot
  • "Stairway to Heaven," which can be played forward or backward, your choice
  • "Yesterday" if you'd like the installation itself to evoke ouroboros
  • "What a Wonderful World" for a carefree bot
  • "Hava Nagila" for a rejoicing and/or Jewish bot
Or, if you'd rather be in charge of the tune in your robot's soul, we offer our one-of-a-kind Liberty Brand Create-Your-Own Robot Soul, which gives you everything you'll need to compose the self you install in your robot.

Both are affordable for all robot owners, priced at $8 and $9 each respectively. Stop on in to the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair today and stuff your bot's stocking with the gift of animism.

03 December 2010

Better Bot's Factory & Workshop!

At long last, a gorgeous new store window! Stop by tonight to check out Better Bot's Factory & Workshop at the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair.

If that photo didn't convince you, we'll have special deals for Midnight Madness, and we'll be open, you guessed it, until midnight. Furthermore, BotChoir -- a group certainly not to be missed -- will be performing in front of the shop every hour on the hour from 8pm-11pm.

01 December 2010

Happy Robotichannukah! & A Very Special Guest Reviewer

Happy Hannukah, friends! It is not too late to stop into the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair to stock up on all of your Robotichannukah needs.

And, today, we are THRILLED to have Jeopardy! Champion Amy Wilson, who is 50 percent Jewish, and, therefore, a knowledgeable reviewer from at least two angles, with two reviews of the LED Menorah.

1. My family has two heirloom menorahs -- one with short slaves carrying short lamps, and another with tall slaves carrying tall lamps. As children, my brother and I used to fight over these menorahs. Naturally, we both wanted the tall slaves -- who wouldn't? If only we had had the LED Menorah! Then we could have fought about that instead.

LED Menorah: It's better than slaves!

2. I love celebrating Hanukkah, but as a busy young twenty-something, I'm not always home to light the candles. (Insert gray-toned image here of Amy looking sad and pensive about missing Hanukkah.) I've tried taking my menorah with me, but who wants the hassle of carrying around a HEAVY MENORAH? (Gray-toned Amy picks up menorah, drops it on foot, curses.) No matter what I do, those candles drip -- (Gray Amy shows the camera a hand immobilized by molten wax) -- smoke -- (Gray Amy frowns as people run screaming from a restaurant while fire alarms blare) -- or leave my menorah with that not-so-fresh look (Gray Amy holds up menorah crusted with years and years of wax and fossilized old matches).

Now, with my LED Menorah, I can celebrate Hanukkah wherever I go! (Smiling full-color Amy makes a big deal out of flipping the menorah switches.) The LED Menorah is clean, safe, and slips right into my bag. No more dealing with messy wax, or those awful smoky candles. L'chaim, LED Menorah!

LED Menorah: The perfect gift for your favorite Jew on the go!

Stop into the robot shop TODAY and stock up!

23 November 2010

Are You and Your Bot Ready for Hannukah?

If your Yidbot 18 has been recently updated, you no doubt know that Hannukah is right around the corner: It starts December 1, to be exact. The Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair, you should not be surprised to find out, has everything you and your bot will need for this year's Festival of Lights.

For example, our brand-new LED Menorah!

These handy little guys feature on/off switches on the back panel for each candle and are battery operated. (Worried about your menorah starting a fire? No more!) We also have two varieties of robot dreidels, and new Robot Souls to the tune of "Hava Nagila."

Stop on in to the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair. You can find everything you need for Hannukah on Buddy Central, right in the middle of the shop. L'chaim!

18 November 2010

Almost 360 Degrees of Robot Shop

Greetings! It probably goes without saying that the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair is a one-stop shop for providing unique, clever, sure-to-please holiday gifts for just about anyone on your list. From a wide array of beautiful books and posters and t-shirts to LED Menorahs, robot calculators, fruit-powered clocks (and a number of other Timer & Timekeeping Bots), and the ever-popular water bottle that says, "Banana Juice, Fresh Squeezed by Robot Monkeys," the robot shop has a slew of products that will woo and delight robots and people, young and old.

Here is an almost-360-degree shot of the robot shop, all stocked up with hundreds -- literally HUNDREDS -- of items ranging in price from fifty cents to $100.

Over the next few weeks, we'll be featuring creative new products and customer reviews of many of our tried-and-true standbys, all in an effort to make your holiday shopping easier than ever.

Please join us for Midnight Madness on Friday, December 3.
We'll have lots of one-night-only specials, AND we'll have our second-annual BotChoir, wherein people dressed in robot costumes will sing robot-ized holiday carols in front of the shop, every hour on the hour from 8pm to 11pm. Hope to see you there!

And if you can't make it that night, remember to stop in to the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair this holiday season! Not only will you find perfect gifts for your friends and family, you'll also be buying the gift that keeps on giving. All proceeds from the LSRS&R benefit the free students programs at 826michigan, a nonprofit writing lab and tutoring center for students aged six to eighteen. (This year, 826michigan is working in eight schools every week, in the classrooms of almost twenty teachers. We offer after-school tutoring four days a week on site, just inside the robot shop, and at Ypsilanti Middle School. We host field trips from area schools every Friday. We hold creative writing workshops just about every night of the week. And that, my robo-friends, is only the start of it.)

29 October 2010

This Just Happened.

These guys just stopped by the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair.

That is all.

20 October 2010

Customer Recommendation: Is Your Bot in Need of a New T-shirt?

I know mine is. It seems that, no matter how many times my bot stocks her drawer with clean white shirts she's freshly laundered, every time I turn around, she is wearing a stained shirt. Oil stains, food stains, dirt stains, and, confusingly, occasional underarm stains. It is unnerving. It causes me to question my bot's ability to carry out the tasks I have painstakingly programmed her to do. Of course I understand that when undergoing any of the tasks -- yard work, car maintenance, huevos rancheros, etc -- my bot assumes each day, there is a possibility of defiling, I prefer to keep good ol' Deirdre spotless and tidy.

So I turned to the good people of the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair and, wouldn't you know it, they had just the thing. While most of the clothing -- largely t-shirts and pullover and zip-up hoodies -- is sold to humans as opposed to robots, they have a new t-shirt I just couldn't not give to my bot, if you'll pardon the double negative. Here are two pictures:

I have five good reasons why these are the perfect fit for my robot, and probably yours:
  1. They are limited edition, so I know Deidre will feel special wearing it. (I also know this because I also picked up a Confidence Emotion Upgrade at the bot shop.)
  2. They are designed by folk songstress Neko Case. Coincidentally, I have programmed Deidre to wake me up with Neko's "Hold On, Hold On" from the album Fox Confessor Brings the Flood. (I will admit that some of the guitar fingerings were difficult to program, but Deirdre has them down now, and I can tell you firsthand, it was worth every hour.)
  3. They come in blue and green, so stains are harder to notice, and the design itself hides most small smudges and bits of grime. They also come in sizing for men and women, so just about any make of cyborg or homo-sapien-ishly-shaped bot will have a well-tailored fit.
  4. At only $25 a pop, I was able to outfit Deirdre in one of each color!
  5. All proceeds benefit the free student programs at 826michigan. I myself am not a fan of the company of children, which makes it even more important to me that they are raised well (by other people) in creative environments.
So hurry on in to the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair! From one satisfied customer to a prospectively satisfied customer, you will not be disappointed!

-- William Flemming, Ann Arbor, MI
LSRS&R Regular

11 October 2010

Liberty Street Getaways, Or: The Gearbots Plan a Vacation

At long last! A new robot shop window! Please meander by the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair and check out Liberty Street Getaways, Or: The Gearbots Plan a Vacation. Our windows are notoriously difficult to photograph, so bear with us!

This window features a rotating globe, complete with our very own Bot Airplane (for sale in the store, most often used by humans on bikes).

And allow us to introduce you to THIS guy, who's got a LOT of ideas for vacations you could go on:

Nerds rejoice! More nerdy in-jokes than you could shake a stick at. (And, honestly, why would you spend your time shaking sticks at jokes? What a futile activity. Stop by our window instead and laugh at them!)

And then, of course, our friends the Gearbots, perusing brochures:

And the centerpiece of it all, our amazing, limited-edition, made-exclusively-for-us Robot Travel Posters, designed by the talented and local Ben English:

You can order your own set of these screen-printed gems, while they are still around, here.

We've got, as ever, all sorts of new things! We just got in the latest issue of the Believer, lots of new McSweeney's titles, a large army of new tin robot collectibles, and some very delightful orange metal water bottles that say "Banana Juice: Fresh Squeezed by Robot Monkeys" -- complete with an image of a robot monkey squeezing a banana. And if you like that monkey (and we think you will), we also have Robot Monkey Tissues. Sneezing has NEVER looked so good, you can be sure.

Hope to see you soon!

30 September 2010

This! Just! In!

Just what IS a Wee Blinky? Good question, and for that, we have a super confusing answer. As far as we are concerned, the Wee Blinky kit developed by the amazing Dale Wheat is a Automatic Diagnostic Signal Light. And it's also a Brain Washer. Furthermore, it's a Self-Destruct Mechanism and a Blink-Eye Plasma Accelerator. Oh yeah, and because, as the packaging states, "Every robot needs a head!", it's also a Mini-Bot Head.

At long last, the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair marries 826michigan! As many of you know, the robot shop is the storefront for 826michigan, a nonprofit writing lab and tutoring center for students aged 6-18. This summer, 826 crafted a workshop in which students learned how to solder and constructed Wee Blinkies (thanks, Dale Grover, our teacher!), and then developed said blinkies into different products for the shop. They came up with names, tag-lines, and warnings for the products, and then wrote all the copy that should be included on the packaging.

Out of fifteen entries, we picked our five favorites, through a series of polls, meetings, focus groups, and the development of a robot we created, the BetterBotBestBot, a charming -- and really, kind of frustrating (he is a bit of a know-it-all) little guy who has been programmed to determine what the "best" is from a set of data.

And the results are in! And starting tomorrow, October 1, you can see them. Here's a sneak peek:

That's the Automatic Diagnostic Signal Light, developed by Jacob, an eleven-year-old Ann Arborite and product development genius.

Stop by the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair and check them out! Perhaps your bot needs a Brain Washer -- "The Reset Button," developed by Noah Luntzlara; or a Self-Destruct Mechanism -- "If You Don't Like It, Don't Worry, It'll Take Care of That," developed by Daniel Drew. Maybe it's time for your bot to finally have a head with Nate LaMoreaux's Mini-Bot Head. And does your robot need the dark? If so, you really ought to check out Haden Plouffe's Blink-Eye Plasma Accelerator.

You owe it to yourself. And your robot.

23 September 2010

This! Almost! In!

Hello! Hello hello! It's been so long. Remember us? Sorry, we became bogged down toward the end of the summer with things like getting married, taking honeymoons, programming our volunteer force, and reprogramming our programs. And now, we're BACK! Huzzah!

Popping by today to say hi! And to tell you to check back here next week for a Really Sweet new item that will be hitting our shelves October 1.

Consider yourself teased.

29 July 2010

This! Just! In! The Robo Vacüm!

Are you tired of having to wipe off your desk? Do you get crumbs everywhere? Do you only get crumbs some places, but you are very perturbed by them? Do you have crumbinabed? Are you spending all your money on dusters, cleaners, and wasteful paper towels?

Weep no more, dear reader: This is your day.

The Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair now carries the amazing, astounding, and absolutely adorable Robo Vacüm:

This smart looking little fellow will:
  • Quickly clean up crumbs on the kitchen counter!
  • Efficiently pick up desktop debris!
  • Clear sawdust and other dry materials from your workshop!
  • Suck up thick layers of dust!
Furthermore, the Robo Vacüm is programmed to get along with almost all other models and brands of robot, as it is factory-installed with a NonConfronTModeTM chip. No longer do you have to deal with the long and complicated process of integrating a new bot into your home!

Stop into the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair today, and have a cleaner, clearer, and easier-to-manage life tomorrow. The Robo Vacüm is available in red, gray, and white, and can be yours right now for $16.

23 July 2010

Robot Art Fair Happening Now -- What Are You Waiting For?

If you have a free moment coming up this evening or tomorrow, why don't you do yourself the great service of stopping by our first-ever Robot Art Fair? There is no getting around the Ann Arbor Art Fair in July, and so we decided to stage a robot takeover of said fair. (Update: Takeover of Art Fair, unsuccessful; staging of Robot Art Fair highly successful.)

You can see more info about it here and here, and, of course, links to each artist on our main website: here.

Or, hey, what the heck, HERE:

The Robot Art Fair runs from 12pm to 6pm every day of Art Fair, which gives you today and tomorrow to stop by and check it out. Twenty percent of the proceeds support free student programming at 826michigan.

Furthermore, the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair is offering special deals for Art Fair, such as deeply discounted back issues of the Believer, McSweeney's, and more, including Dave Eggers' The Wild Things and 826michigan publications at ridiculously low prices.

14 July 2010


The Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair made it, once again, onto the Stopped. Watched. part of the Ann Arbor Chronicle! Check it out here. And thanks to Julie W, you...pretty much made our day.

Here it is once again, in case you've missed it:

13 July 2010

Buddy Central Gets a Makeover!

We had many, MANY late-night epiphanies when we began putting together the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair. When putting together a robot shop, as it happens, suddenly everything seems vaguely robotic. Anything made out of metal? Probably a robot. Every appliance in your house? Definitely a robot (especially if you glue googly eyes onto it).

The most lasting of these epiphanies created one of the most beloved products in our store: Bot Buddies. Essentially, we determined that wind-up toys are practically robots, and therefore can bridge the gap between human and robot.

For example: When you eat sushi, quite often your robot will eye you warily. He doesn't understand sushi or the appeal of it. He doesn't know what a delightful sensation it is to eat it. But with our line of Bot Buddies, you and your bot can enjoy sushi together. He can spend time with wind-up nigiri, while you enjoy actual raw fish.

AT ANY RATE. In the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair, we have Buddy Central, a testing ground for all of our wind-ups. And late last night, Buddy Central got a makeover, making it look like this:

Is that the head of French-Canadian-bot from our Mustache-a-Thon 2009 window with the body of that weird contraption we've had sitting in the basement for more than two years? Why yes, it is! Aren't you smart for noticing?

Stop by the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair and test out some Bot Buddies! We've got sushi, all manner of animals and insects, robots, and more!

We also have all this stuff:

This stuff:

And all this stuff:

And don't forget this stuff:

Aaaand a bunch of other stuff, like these beauties, our limited-edition robot travel posters, made especially for us by local designer Ben English, which are not too far from selling out:

Hope to see you soon! ONWARD ROBOTS.

09 July 2010

News Flash: Dog Destroys Robot Store Window Display.

Ann Arbor, MI -- about two hours ago. Some of you may know Cousteau, the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair's Resident Robodog.

Cousteau was created and programmed by Dr. Thaddeus Blotch himself to guard the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair from vandals, thieves, tramps, gypsies, pickpockets, and kleptomaniacs. Earlier this afternoon, however, wires within our dear robodog apparently crossed, and the unthinkable happened. Cousteau, our sworn (or at least programmed) protector turned against us.

Passersby have no doubt seen our amazing new window, Origin of the Species:

A commentary not only on technology but also all of humanity, Origin of the Species starts with a toasterbot and slowly evolves into a microwavebot that has its own toasterbot. It's thought-provoking, it's eye-catching, it's both funny and deep, and now, thanks to Cousteau, it's ruined.

While it pains me to go over the details, I'm sure you're all curious, and so I will. Shortly after lunch, Cousteau jumped into the window display and ate one of the pieces of toast, muddling the concept, destroying the aesthetic, and scattering crumbs about the stage. And now, our beloved microwavebot has only one piece of toast, and it's in the wrong side of the toaster. (As you well know, when only one piece of toast is being made, there is a particular slot to put it in.)

So here stands our destroyed bot:

Let us all take a moment to mourn the loss of one of our favorite windows. You are welcome to stop by and check it out, but bring tissues, as it is quite disturbing. We will begin work on our next window sooner than anticipated, as there is no salvaging this one, and we are worried about the toll passing by it will take on people in our community.

Cousteau has been dismantled and will be reprogrammed by Dr. Blotch later this afternoon. Apparently someone who owns a nice farm where he'll have lots of room to run around is interested in adopting him. We'll keep you posted.

Anyone who has a candidate for our new Resident Robodog should send them post haste to our store manager, Amy:

08 July 2010

This! Just! In!

Are you tired of your robot not being able to reach things that are thirty-six inches away from it? Do you want your bot to pick things up off the floor without having to bend over? Do you have a bunch of books on your top shelf that you haven't read because your Librarybot 3000 can't get to them?

Friends: THIS is your day.

We at the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair are so delighted we're blowing fuses over the new Thirty-Six-Inch Robot Claw Attachment Piece. This sleek, stylish, and easy-to-install add-on will enable your bot to do the following:
  • Clean off the top of your refrigerator!
  • Grab that vase from the cupboard above the stove!
  • Keep people you don't want to be close to three feet away from you!
  • Replace your standard yardstick!
  • Dust your ceiling fan!
  • ...and much, much more!
Robotier, rock star, and all-around creative genius Mariah Cherem shows how classy it looks, while maintaining functionality:

These amazing attachments are currently on sale in the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair for only $9! Stop in today before they sell out!

01 July 2010

This! Just! In!

This just in at the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair:

Baby robots in need of adoption and 3D robot greeting cards!

Designed by illustrator, toy designer, and cartoonist Shawn Amberger, these are stylish and fun gifts for robots and humans alike. And yes, that is a robot Elvis head. And yes, it's for sale too.

01 June 2010

Call for Applications for our First-Ever Robot Art Fair!

This year, during Ann Arbor's Art Fair (July 21-24), we'll be hosting our first Robot Art Fair in 826michigan's tutoring lab. Featuring all manner of robot art, from t-shirts to drawing to sculpture, and more!

Robot artists or artists who make robot art should contact store manager Amy Sumerton to submit at amy[at]826michigan[dot]org for more details. And please stop by! The Robot Art Fair runs from 12pm to 6pm Wednesday, July 21 through Saturday, July 24.

01 May 2010

Happy Birthday to the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair!

Can YOU believe that there's been a functioning robot shop in Ann Arbor for two whole years? It seems like just yesterday that we staged a robot dance-off to celebrate our opening. That dance-off was not yesterday, though; it was May 17, 2008.

What are we doing to celebrate? Good question. It's been an entire blog post since we used bullet-points, can you believe that? Here goes! To celebrate our store opening, for the ENTIRE MONTH OF MAY:

  • We'll be offering a choice between a free mini-cupcake OR two percent off your entire purchase!
  • We are going to have a drawing! For every $10 you spend, you can enter your name to win a PAIR of Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair t-shirts!
  • We will be giving away a FREE STUDENT PUBLICATION to: 1) twins (both must be present), 2) anyone who pays with a $2 bill for something else in the store, 3) any customer who brings in pictures of TWO robots (we get to keep them!), 4) creative types who bring us TWO cans of TUNA (two-na) repurposed as a robot (again, we get to keep them!), 5) more stuff as it occurs to us!
  • We'll have a Brand New Window! That's right, new window display going in this weekend, make sure to stop by!
  • We'll be open EVERY SUNDAY in May from 12pm to 6pm!

We're thinking of it as celebrating our Not-so-Terrible Twos. Please stop by and wish our bots a happy birthday! (Most robots do not even have birthdays. Isn't that sad? Together, we can change that. Won't you help us?)

And THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for welcoming us into the community and allowing us to help you with all your robot needs with such warmth. It's heating up our robot hearts.

16 January 2010

My Heart Feels Funny: A Robot Engagement!

Hello. Dr. Thaddeus Blotch here. Have you been by the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair lately? If not, this is what you're missing:

A  Robot Engagement.

That's right, Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair co-creaters Amy Sumerton and Jason DePasquale were engaged this weekend, and his proposal happened in the store window. Those of you who know me must know how many hours after seeing this disgustingly sweet abomination I spent dry heaving in my office.

For those of you who DON'T know me, the answer is seven. Seven hours of dry heaving. That's almost a full third of my work day!

Amy and Jason are the worst. I have fired each of them at least forty-seven times, and yet they keep coming back.

Fear not, minions: A new, un-nauseating window will be up soon.

And now, I must get back to work. I had just rounded an important bend on my experiment to turn time into money when this confection caused such a ridiculous setback. YOU SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK TOO.

I mean it, GET BACK TO WORK,
Dr. Thaddeus Blotch